Letting Go: The AIM Method
Author: Natalie Michael
The process of letting go can be absolutely brutal when you really love and care about someone or something. Our attachment drive kicks in. We want to hang on to things we love. This applies to jobs too. When we love what we do and give it our talent and energy and we derive benefits from it, we get attached to it. It becomes harder to let go. I have been a student of this for decades and lived through the pain and jubilation of it all too.
Any model on transitions emphasizes the importance of letting go of the past to move forward. And these models emphasize the emotional challenges associated with change and the need to navigate through them. Some models focus on adapting to the change process (Bridges) and others focus on the psychological aspects of letting go (Hawkins).
From twenty years of navigating transitions with clients I have come up with three things that seem to really help people let go during inflection points. I call it The AIM Method.
Acceptance: Acknowledge and accept your current emotional state without judgement. This allows you to move through the emotion rather than getting stuck in it. “Nothing to change. Everything to accept.” This is a multi-layered and profound teaching.
Intention: Set a clear intention to move to a higher state of consciousness when it gets hard. I have stopped analyzing fears and negative emotions ad nauseum. For example, in the past I would walk clients through elaborate methods for understanding their triggers. Now, I see a trigger as simply as your inner alarm system trying to protect you. If you are triggered by letting go then examine what you are trying to protect and try to protect it. This frees you up. Then, set an intention for who you want to be in the transition, not just what you want to do. For example, as I let go my CEO role, and move to something new, my intention is to be thoughtful and caring.
Migrate Incrementally: When people migrate from one country to another, in search of better opportunities, safety, or to be with family, they do so methodically. Animals too. They migrate seasonally, travelling long distances to find food, or more favorable climates. Birds flying south for the winter are a classic example. When letting go be incremental. Imagine that your migration is blocked by a series of gates. Go through each gate incrementally before moving on to the next one. Move in phases. Let go in phases. It helps.
