What I have learned about “Success”

I am privileged in my work.  I get to serve and learn from CEOs and ultra-high net worth people who have extraordinary material wealth and from individuals who devote themselves to social purpose causes.  I get to see different dimensions of success from this unique vantage point.  At certain points in my journey, it confused me.  What is success really?  I used to think it was living your values, but when I saw so much material success and outward achievement, I wondered: Did I get it all wrong?  Is it about material success after all?

Here is what I see today. 

Peace and happiness bring you success, in its truest form.  Our inner critic likes to try to convince us that peace and happiness is opposed to success.  If we strive for it, maybe we will somehow lose our edge.  From my experience, I see that peace and happiness are essential for success.  True success means we are happy with how our life is going.  We have internal success – we are pleased with our own self and in “right relationship” with our heart.  We trust ourselves and we believe in our capacity to make wise life choices.  And, there is external success – how the world views what we have achieved and the impact we have in the world when we use our creative talents towards an aim.  For example, you might be very pleased with your latest offering, but if it sits on your computer or in your head it will have limited impact.

Having worked alongside people with extraordinary external success, I am now confident that we all must reconcile our inner success at some point, no matter how much external success we have.  When the inner world is at peace, outer success is meaningful to pursue even when it is hard.  We have the resolve to keep going. Our health doesn’t blow up because of cortisol constantly running through the body. The journey becomes worth it in the most meaningful sense.

So, how do you get there?  How do you find internal and external success. Where does it start?

At some point, you dig deep and find your vision.  What do you want for your life because it matters to YOU? When your vision is uniquely yours, there is resilience and flow as you pursue it.  You look in the mirror and you talk slowly to yourself, and you listen to what the wise voice has to say.  You validate yourself.  You care about the inner conflict.  You take the time to reconcile it.  Ultimately, when outer success comes from self-confidence and dedication to a vision, it feels different.  It becomes more of a calling than a goal, you gain momentum which helps to overcome obstacles.  You become flexible in your pursuits rather than rigid. 

I have noticed that the people in my world who have inner and outer success are often dedicated to something bigger than themselves.  Even if their efforts lead to external success beyond what they ever imagined for their lives, there is still a modesty.  It is not the main event in their lives.  They still remain curious about others and what sits in their heart.  They don’t push down the whisper of their personal dream. If they do, it kind of hurts. It catches up eventually. Instead, those with internal and external success keep going with their pursuits. They keep chipping away incrementally at their vision.  They develop a certain rhythm to their work and their relationships.  What sits below the outward success is quiet inspiration.  They are not “dressing the part.” 

Watch for the subtle signs in yourself.  Look within. Find your dream.  Plod along.